It's Raining Men (Hallelujah!)
by Ray-Chan
Summary: Um..weird little pointless songfic. ^^; What happens when the seven Suzaku seishi all start frolicking in the water fountain? Strangely funny! READ!


It's Raining Men, (Hallelujah!)

[Ray-Chan and Sakura-Chan bounce in]

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Hi (hi), we're your weather girls (uh-huh)

And have we got news for you (you better listen)

Get ready all you lonely girls

And leave those umbrellas at home (all right)

[Scene cut to outside Hotohori's palace where all the Suzaku senshi are gathered training for their next battle.

Tamahome swings a heavy sword at Tasuki, the red-head bandit's speed barely saving him from losing an arm. Tamahome rights himself for another attack…]

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Humidity is rising (uh rising)

Barometer's getting low (how low girl, uh-oh)

According to all sources (what sources now)

The street's the place to go (we better go hurry up)

'Cause tonight for the first time (first time)

Just about half past ten (half past ten)

For the first time in history

It's gonna start raining men (start raining men)

[Tamahome surges forward…and grabs Tasuki's ass. The red-head shrieks a string of curses at the other man and gives him a sharp slap with his tessen. Tamahome doesn't seem to care though as he picks up the screeching boy and throws him over his shoulder casually, giving his butt another sound pat.]

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It's raining men, Hallelujah!

It's raining men, Amen!

I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna let myself get

Absolutely soaking wet

It's raining men, Hallelujah!

It's raining men, every specimen

Tall, blonde, dark and lean

Rough and tough and strong and mean

[A sudden blast of chi sends Tamahome sprawling to his butt none too gracefully on the ground. Quick, strong arms catch Tasuki as he falls, and the usually foul-mouthed bandit nuzzles into his lover's neck as Chichiri holds him tightly.

Chichiri grins a wicked grin (though we can't see it because of his mask of course! ^__^) and he carries the unresisting red-head senshi over to a secluded part of the training grounds. Soft moans drift through the air as Chichiri helps Tasuki forget all about Tamahome and his wandering hands.]

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God bless Mother Nature

She's a single woman too

She took on the heavens

And she did what she had to do

She fought every angel

She rearranged the sky

So that each and every woman

Could find the perfect guy

[Hotohori, now chibified in his current state of being corrupted, stares wide-eyed at Chichiri and Tasuki's "activities". Nuriko, horny as he is, glomps onto the smaller bishounen chibi from behind, picking him up and cradling a squealing Hotohori in his arms as he dances around the palace grounds, spinning quickly he soon loses his balance and both go tumbling into a nearby fountain.]

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It's raining men, Hallelujah!

It's raining men, Amen!

It's raining men, Hallelujah!

It's raining men, Amen!

[Chiriko and Mitsukake watched the goings-on with barely contained amusement. Chiriko makes some popcorn and the two sit back to watch the others make complete fools of themselves.]

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I hear stormy weather movin' in

'Bout to break it, about to begin

Hear the thunder, don't lose your head

Rip up the roof and stay in bed (rip up the roof and stay in bed)

[Scene cut to the original training grounds where Miaka is squabbling with a very red-faced Tamahome. After listening to her pointless complaints on the true nature of a man and woman's relationship, Tamahome abruptly bitch-slaps her and pulls on his thigh high "fuck-me" bitch boots before stalking off to find some bishounen and make wild lovin' until both passed out.]

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God bless Mother Nature

She's a single woman too

She took on the heavens

And she did what she had to do

She fought every angel

She rearranged the sky

So that each and every woman

Could find the perfect guy

Ooh it's raining men down

[Tamahome, still wearing his "fuck-me" bitch boots and now wielding a leather whip, cannonballs into the fountain beside Nuriko and Hotohori. The still chibified emperor screeches something about being violated before the dominatrix-type Tamahome grabs the two other men and clothes start flying every which way.]

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Humidity is rising (humidity is rising, yeah it's rising)

Barometer's getting low (it's getting low low low low low low low low low low, oh it's getting low)

According to all sources (according to all sources, oh to all sources)

The street's the place to go

Because tonight for the first time (first time)

Just about half past ten (half past ten)

For the first time in history

It's gonna start raining men (start raining men)

[More splashing as Chichiri and Tasuki, through with their own "activities", join the other three in the fountain. General insanity as legs and arms and clothes go flailing about, splashing most of the water out of the concrete "tub".

Comments like "Gee! I didn't know you could do that with your tongue!" and "Wow, Tasuki! Just how flexible ARE you?!" can be heard as the five hottie bishounen "get the fill" of each other.] (::grin:: That one was for all you hentai's out there! ^_~. )

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It's raining men (woo!), Hallelujah!

It's raining men, Amen!

It's raining men, Hallelujah!

It's raining men, Amen!

It's raining men, Hallelujah!

It's raining men, Amen!

It's raining men, Hallelujah!

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, Amen!

[Mitsukake puts down his popcorn and looks questioningly at Chiriko. The boy just shrugs, and both rise to their feet, shedding clothes along the way as they walk casually to join the butt-naked senshi frolicking in the fountain.]

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It's raining men (tall and blond and dark and lean)

It's raining men (and rough and tough and strong and mean)

It's raining men(come on), Hallelujah!

[Miaka-chan stands there with a pout watching her seven Suzaku senshi screw each other silly in the fountain. Ray-Chan and Sakura-Chan walk over with armloads of stale popcorn (yum!) and hand a bag to the poor abandoned girl. The three munch absently on the snack, their attention diverted elsewhere as they wait for the next round to begin…]

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It's raining men, Amen!

(The End, no da!)


End file.
